Digging Deeper

Digging Deeper – February 13th, 2023

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Monday, February 13th

4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

– Matthew 19:4-6

This Sunday at NorthStar, Mike taught on the tension of “Spouse vs. Kids”. So this week through Digging Deeper, we are going to look at three passages that highlight the covenant of marriage and 2 passages that speak to parenting and leaving a godly legacy. 

In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus is responding to questions about marriage and divorce. He immediately points us back to the Genesis account of Adam and Eve, in which he quotes Genesis 2:24, which states, ‘‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

The tail end of verse 5 and verse 6 really get to the heart of Jesus teaching about Marriage. It states in verse 5 that the TWO will become ONE flesh. Then Jesus immediately repeats himself in verse 6, where we states they are no longer TWO but ONE flesh. Lastly, Jesus states that what God has joined TOGETHER, let no one SEPERATE. 

The emphasis of Jesus’ teaching on marriage is “ONENESS”.

Verse 5 Jesus states ONE FLESH. Verse 6 Jesus states ONE FLESH, JOINED TOGETHER, and DO NOT SEPERATE. The emphasis is on unity, on oneness between husband and while. This is the goal of marriage to strive towards unity–ONENESS.

Christian Marriage is about WE not ME. 

Considerings Jesus’ teaching on marriage, a question that we can ask ourselves as a filter in our marriages is:

“Will this decision promote “oneness” with my spouse? 

For example:

  • Will going on a weekly datenight promote “oneness”?
  • Will scrolling our phones before bed promote “oneness”?
  • Will this new job even though it pays more promote “oneness”?
  • Will praying together before bed promote “oneness”?
  • Will the purchase of this new car promote “oneness”?
  • Will this activity for our child promote “oneness”?

We believe that when we get married and say those vows before God that he does something miraculous. He takes two separate people and makes them ONE. 

Ray Ortlund says it this way, when speaking to engaged couples,

“On your wedding day, you will not be there to entertain an audience. You can ignore the crazy hoopla of the typical American wedding today. I hope you will relax and enjoy this wonderful moment, because there will be only three important people there at your wedding ceremony: the bride, the groom, and God. The rest of us will be, properly speaking, mere witnesses to what God will be accomplishing between the two of you. He will be present, joining you together, soldering you together, uniting you together as ‘one flesh’ for the rest of your earthly days.”

This is the picture of Christian marriage as Jesus teaches it: ONENESS. What God has brought together, let no one separate.



Our Father,

Thank you for your Word. We pray that by your Spirit, Matthew 19:4-6, would change us into the likeness of Christ. We praise you for the gift of marriage. We pray for our marriages and the marriages of our loved ones. May we move toward oneness everyday.  Father, we pray this now through The Son and By the Spirit. Amen.

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