In February 2018, I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. It was devastating, and the circumstances surrounding it made the experience even harder. About a month later, I went to a monastery for a silent retreat. When we truly tune in to what God is saying in the silence, when we quiet the noise even for a few moments, He will make His presence known and speak to our hearts in just the way we need. He longs to spend time with us, revealing Himself in many ways—through visions, thoughts, and situations. Often, He speaks to me through situations and experiences.
One night during the silent retreat, I made myself a cup of jasmine tea and sat reflecting on God and how He was beginning to heal my hurting heart. As I drank my tea, He began to speak to my heart, and I journaled the thoughts He was giving me:
“Steep yourself in Me. Smell My sweet aroma. Breathe it in. Feel My presence. I am with you. Picture My field of flowers. Spring is coming. Beauty lies ahead. Walk with Me into the meadow. The sweet smell of jasmine is all around you. Let it bring joy to your heart. Let the dark, cold winter be over by just breathing Me in, for I am with you. I have always been here. Let Me fill you with My warmth. I will thaw out your cold, dry bones.”
I love that we can find God in every moment—like drinking a cup of tea—when we are truly listening. What a wonderful reminder that, whatever season of life we are walking through, He is there to meet us if only we listen. He gently reminded me, “Find Me in the nuances of your day. I am in all things. I will reveal Myself to you in all things. Simply tune in to Me.”
Our peace is found in God alone, even through trials and suffering. We simply must seek Him.
To tie a bow on my search for peace, one year later, in February 2019, our daughter was born. The Lord very clearly revealed her name to me in a prayer of thankfulness: she would be named Everly. Since names hold great significance to me, I looked up its origins. Everly means “from the boar meadow.” Little did I know, when He spoke those words to me during the retreat, that in bringing peace to my suffering, God was also giving me the promise of new life through my precious daughter, Everly.
1 Peter 4:13 tells us, “Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” Through suffering, His glory has been revealed in the wonderful joy of my daughter Everly’s precious life.
