What does it mean for something to be wrong? The challenge is that there are many ways we use the word wrong, and they do not all carry the same meaning.

The quarterback called the wrong play. Then they drew a penalty for lining up in the wrong formation. They would have had a first down, but the receiver ran the wrong route. None of these uses of the word indicate doing something morally wrong, yet we often treat them as if they do, don’t we?

Can’t you just picture the receiver after the play, frustrated with himself because he ran a post route instead of a crossing route? Maybe it cost them the game, and suddenly something appears in his consciousness that was not there before:

SHAME.

And shame does not always come from within. Can’t you almost feel the awkwardness in the room as the Pharisees scrutinized the tax collectors and sinners? Sometimes shame is handed to us by people who think their righteousness gives them that right.

It is in vogue to demonize shame, and for some good reasons. Shame can be a crippling emotion and hold us back in many areas of life. I have even sat through seminars declaring that we should never feel shame whatsoever. Those seminars were completely secular, which led me to a larger theological question: should we ever feel shame?

Let’s add one more detail to our football story. The receiver, upset with himself, suddenly grabs the cornerback’s facemask, rips off his helmet, and slams it to the ground. Before, we were talking about wrong in the sense of being functionally wrong or procedurally wrong. But now the wide receiver has done something morally wrong.

As I left that seminar and reflected on what I know from Scripture, something occurred to me:

Shame and repentance are not the same thing.

Shame is an emotion. Repentance is an act of the will.

Shame is the man walking down the street toward the familiar drug house and all the sins associated with it, muttering to himself, “I’m such an idiot. Why am I doing this again? I’m worthless.”

Repentance is him stopping in his tracks and saying, “No more.” Then turning and walking back toward the sober living house.

It seems to me that shame is clearly inappropriate in several situations. That man who has turned around and is walking back toward sobriety should not continue beating himself up. If you are forgiven and have repented, shame is no longer the appropriate response.

Nor should the tight end condemn himself because he lined up in the backfield and drew a penalty for illegal formation. Functional and procedural wrongs do not warrant shame.

The problem with shame is that it is an emotion, and emotions can be wildly deceptive. We can all picture the hardened criminal on death row who feels no shame, while also thinking of the mother working tirelessly for her family who seems to feel it constantly.

It seems to me that the time shame is most appropriate is when it precedes true repentance, whether at salvation or after salvation. Even then, whatever grief is experienced is far outweighed by the benefits of turning back to God.

That secular seminar declared that we should feel no shame. The implicit reason seemed to be this: at rock bottom, there is no right or wrong, so why feel bad if moral wrongs do not actually exist?

But moral wrongs do exist, and deep down, we all know it.

If you are saved by the blood of Jesus and have repented of your sins, then shame is a lie you no longer have to believe. What that secular conference asserted, you can declare with even greater confidence because Jesus provides what they could not: the means to remove guilt and free you from shame.

As a Christian, you can not only be free from shame, but uniquely grounded in that freedom.

Ask yourself:

HEART: Am I suffering from unnecessary shame? Do I feel it when someone honks at me, even when I have done nothing morally wrong? Listen to the voice in your head. Do you beat yourself up internally? Would you ever allow someone else to say to you what you say to yourself?

SOUL: Am I feeling shame because the Holy Spirit is asking me to repent of something morally wrong that I have done? Remember, the world will tell you that shame can be defeated either by denying the wrong or by outperforming it. But the only thing that truly cleanses wrongdoing is Jesus.

STRENGTH: Do not let sin linger. Repent quickly, because repentance turns grief into peace.

May you go in peace today, surrendered to repentance and then freed from shame.

“For the Scripture says, ‘Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.'”
Romans 10:11 ESV