Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:1-7 (NLT)
TRUE LOVE
Romance is a fickle thing, and like lightning, it can strike when you least expect it. Deanna and I first connected one night at work. The Super Target where we both worked during high school and college used to be a viewing spot for fireworks on July 4th.
Due to some late rain, the fireworks were delayed, and we got stuck in awful traffic after work. By happenstance, we started having a conversation in the parking lot. I should mention that at the time, I was dating another girl and wasn’t looking for a relationship. Yet, as we talked, the night went on and on, well beyond the traffic, and the only thing keeping me there was the conversation. In other words, there were… fireworks! Sorry, couldn’t resist.
I got home late that day with a bittersweet feeling. I knew I was in love, and it wasn’t with the girl I was dating. Fast forward, and we’ve been married for 15 years.
A coworker of mine recently got married, and he asked me, “What’s the secret to staying married?” I simply replied, “There is no secret—just mean what you say at the altar, and you’ll be good.”
As we reflect on this week’s message, we’ve discussed the roles of husbands and wives, the importance of self-sacrifice, and the way children can complicate things. At this point, I’d like to underscore the bedrock of it all: love.
I am so thankful for the gift of love. Our example for love is very simple—it’s Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). There is no greater example of love than this.
We get to experience all kinds of love, whether with spouses, children, friends, or extended family. But the love you share with your spouse is special. It’s unique, intimate, and beautiful.
In Song of Solomon, it says:
“…for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.” (SoS 8:6-7)
I don’t know how I would describe the love I have with Deanna, but this passage feels more accurate than anything I could come up with. If we can focus less on ourselves and more on our spouse, using the loving example of our Lord, maybe we can live in this love that cannot be quenched.
I would also like to personally thank Daniel Hoover for his contributions to this week’s devotionals. Daniel is someone I hold in the absolute highest regard, and it was a joy to share his wisdom with you.
He and Bonnie offer a range of services to couples, dealing with topics from infertility to infidelity to conflict resolution, through their ministry called The Marriage Adventure. You can find them here:
themarriageadventure.com
@themarriageadventure on Facebook and Instagram
The Marriage Adventure Podcast can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.
Lee Wilson and his wife, Deanna, have been NorthStar Church members since 2010. They are parents to Everett, Henry and Roselyn. Lee is passionate about sports (Go Braves, Go Dawgs) and has the pleasure to serve on the worship team as a bassist.
